Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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