we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize