i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
