i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
