I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
