The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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