Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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