i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
