hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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