Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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