Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
