I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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