FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
