you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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