I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize