love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
