I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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