you're like a bully in the Christmas story
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
