I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
