The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
