So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
