I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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