Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
they're like a gay fantastic four
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
