Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
