Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize