We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
