so explain again why im purple
no
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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