i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
