oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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