She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
In America we eat man semen.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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