as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
