That's intense
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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