There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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