I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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