remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize