So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize