How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
