I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize