Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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