and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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