Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
