My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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