I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
