We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Acid is not a monday night drug
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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