is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
