I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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