When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
