You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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