You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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