he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
