what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
