Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
