am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We need a shit load of segways right now
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
