tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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