i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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