Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
