Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
