Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
