I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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