dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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