nut hugger
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My butt remains clenched, sir.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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