dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
