I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
kristin has been a bad kristin
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
