Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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