playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
