I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
