Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
