No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
