O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
